cabela’s = greatness

ever been to an outdoors store?  REI, LL Bean, etc?  sure you have.  or maybe not.  regardless, it’s outdoorsy stuff- fishing poles, adidas running shirts, boats, gear, etc.

but i hadn’t heard of cabela’s til my little road trip.  cabela’s is….i dunno, the mother of all outdoors stores?  i’m told bass pro shops are better.  but until i see one of those bad boys, cabela’s is it.

think Hunting and Fishing stuff, followed by Other.  they have (standard, i think) an aquarium.  and the one in kansas city’s aquariam houses catfish half my size.  that’s big.  and there’s random ridiculous taxidermy everywhere.  are you ready for this?

that’s my failed attempt at demonstrating how large that freaking catfish is.  failed because it makes it seem like it’s twice the size of my hand.  in actuality, it looked about 3 feet long and oh…50-70 pounds heavy.

aww; it’s an albino.

i wasn’t kidding about ridiculous taxidermy.  someone, likely someones, took the time to take a former lion and zebra, stuff ‘em, and pose them like so.  heaven help.

we don’t like to sugarcoat things at cabela’s.  naw, we like to shoot it, use the meat for jerky, stuff it, and put it on display.  sugarcoatin’s fer pansies.

but we couldn’t sit around and stare all day at the wonderful/terrible taxidermy.  we were on a mission!  wait, what was the mission?  oh yeah; i promised my 13 year old brother that if he went on half my road trip with me, i would take him to buy an air soft gun.  an air soft gun’s like a bb gun, except the pellets are plastic and not metal.  i think my definition is not fully accurate, but that’s my understanding, and i’m sticking to my guns on this one.  so i had picked him up in LA and said we weren’t buying one til kansas and that he was just gonna have to deal with it.  and goshdarnit if i didn’t wait til almost missouri to prove my point that i says what i mean and i mean what i says.

but holy mackerel was i hungry.  so we stopped for food somewhere outside kansas city.  i had the notion that in the middle of nowhere, mexican food would be really good.  so we tried, kind of, to find a mexican place.  using our fancy dancy GPS.  which found us a “mexican” place that was really a gringo spin on mexican, and way too pricey to boot.  so we settled for the american style place next door.  best decision ever.  that plate of lasagna above came out so hot i couldn’t eat it for a good 10 minutes (because i’m a pansy), and it was de.li.shus.  and not just because i was hungry, either.  genuinely good.  i had it later for dinner and the next day for lunch.  (because i think that it weighed like…over a pound on its own? haha, absolutely ridiculous).  if you’re ever near kansas city off highway 70 and you notice Russell’s Family Diner (i think that’s what it was called), i highly recommend.

but back to cabela’s! at this point in our lives and during the trip we were receiving phone calls from Stinky’s twin brother on the regular.  ‘on the regular’ for 13 year old stinky faces means twice a day.  trust me- that’s committment.  he wanted to know if we got it yet.  did we get it yet? no? “oops wrong number!”  and he’d hang up.  on his brother.  who was still thousands of miles away from home.  …none of this ‘how are you’ business for these stinkies, nope.  all business.

have i mentioned how lucky they are to have me as their sister?  i don’t think they fully understand yet.  one day.  …errr, maybe i’m being a little too hopeful on that.

well we considered this.  but doesn’t it just say ‘lame’ to you?  no?  that’s ok; disagreement is the stuff of life.

ooooh, a daisy.  now i can’t lie- i wanted (ahem, i mean They wanted) THIS one.  it’s so preettty.  by the way did i mention my mother was anti this whole play gun business?   you need to know- she does not approve.  i do not blame her.  but i’m their cool sister, not their mom.  if they were my kids, i’d take them to a real shooting range and forbid any such pretend business.  but here’s the daisy, annnd, nope.  out of the price range.  and far too intense for our puny northern virginian suburb we call home.  if neighbors caught sight of two little brown muslim boys toting around this daisy, um.  yeah.  also, too much ammo power- we’re not actually using this for anything, folks.

so we settled for something in between.  and i refused to let him play with it til we got home.  welllll, just a little.  wait, no! put that thing away, Stinky – - it looks like a real gun and the people that just passed us on the highway just did a double take!!!  hahah, heheh, ha…hm.  yeah, no tinkering til home.

and when we did get home, yall?  he promptly accidentally shot his brother in the face.  and then his brother jammed it.  and then they took the whole thing apart.  and forgot how to put it back together.  but finally succeeded a few days later.  it’s what silly 13 year old boys do.

aren’t they cute? no? because they just jacked up an airsoft i just got them 2 days ago after playing with it for just 2 hours? no? didn’t think so.  they better have fixed it, or i was gonna have a fit.  and fix they did.  but Twin Stinky still has that scar.  i bet that reflects poorly on me as their older and supposedly wiser sister, but i don’t see the problem.  well i do- it’s on his chin.  but…oh, let me not try to justify my actions.  stuff happens.

another thing- i love my mommy.  yes i do.  the other day, and honest to God i can’t remember what upset her, but she was upset at me.  oh wait now i remember, but it’s not important what.  she was upset.  :(  but she threatened me in the ONLY way she could think to, and you guys, it was so cute.  she had her elbows out, arms on her hips, and said “i’m not going to give you your mail.”  and i laaauuuughhhed, which is terrible, but i couldn’t help it.  and she was still so upset, but she laughed a little too, and continued “i’ll give you only the important ones, but all the others- i throw away.” and i told her i loved  her, and she was still upset, but smiling.  hahahaha, aww, momma!  we do silly things like go on road trips and buy toy guns, but we love you.

the end.

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