compelled

i wish there was a way to, when my thoughts are most numerous and cogent (mostly when driving), to just catch them all and spit them out here.  instead i save them, like one tries to save the memory of a dream, and i try to repeat them, and it simply does.not.work.  the dream loses its ethereality, the thought its glow of truth.

mark twain approves this plagiarism

‘Oh, dear me, how unspeakably funny and owlishly idiotic and grotesque was that “plagiarism” farce! As if there was much of anything in any human utterance, oral or written, except plagiarism! The kernal, the soul — let us go further and say the substance, the bulk, the actual and valuable material of all human utterances…— is plagiarism. For substantially all ideas are second-hand, consciously and unconsciously drawn from a million outside sources, and daily used by the garnerer with a pride and satisfaction born of the superstition that he originated them; whereas there is not a rag of originality about them anywhere except the little discoloration they get from his mental and moral calibre and his temperament, and which is revealed in characteristics of phrasing.  When a great orator makes a great speech you are listening to ten centuries and ten thousand men — but we call it his speech, and really some exceedingly small portion of it is his. But not enough to signify. It is merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington’s battle, in some degree, and we call it his; but there are others that contributed. It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing—and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite — that is all he did.  These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.’

if you care to know why twain wrote this, it was to helen keller upon accusations of her plagiarizing something.  (i think).  the man’s dead and gone, but i feel like his writings always strike a chord of truth for me.  i mean, have you seen what he’s said about the devil?!  what a fantastic individual (clemens, not the devil).

cabela’s = greatness

ever been to an outdoors store?  REI, LL Bean, etc?  sure you have.  or maybe not.  regardless, it’s outdoorsy stuff- fishing poles, adidas running shirts, boats, gear, etc.

but i hadn’t heard of cabela’s til my little road trip.  cabela’s is….i dunno, the mother of all outdoors stores?  i’m told bass pro shops are better.  but until i see one of those bad boys, cabela’s is it.

think Hunting and Fishing stuff, followed by Other.  they have (standard, i think) an aquarium.  and the one in kansas city’s aquariam houses catfish half my size.  that’s big.  and there’s random ridiculous taxidermy everywhere.  are you ready for this?

that’s my failed attempt at demonstrating how large that freaking catfish is.  failed because it makes it seem like it’s twice the size of my hand.  in actuality, it looked about 3 feet long and oh…50-70 pounds heavy.

aww; it’s an albino.

i wasn’t kidding about ridiculous taxidermy.  someone, likely someones, took the time to take a former lion and zebra, stuff ‘em, and pose them like so.  heaven help.

we don’t like to sugarcoat things at cabela’s.  naw, we like to shoot it, use the meat for jerky, stuff it, and put it on display.  sugarcoatin’s fer pansies.

but we couldn’t sit around and stare all day at the wonderful/terrible taxidermy.  we were on a mission!  wait, what was the mission?  oh yeah; i promised my 13 year old brother that if he went on half my road trip with me, i would take him to buy an air soft gun.  an air soft gun’s like a bb gun, except the pellets are plastic and not metal.  i think my definition is not fully accurate, but that’s my understanding, and i’m sticking to my guns on this one.  so i had picked him up in LA and said we weren’t buying one til kansas and that he was just gonna have to deal with it.  and goshdarnit if i didn’t wait til almost missouri to prove my point that i says what i mean and i mean what i says.

but holy mackerel was i hungry.  so we stopped for food somewhere outside kansas city.  i had the notion that in the middle of nowhere, mexican food would be really good.  so we tried, kind of, to find a mexican place.  using our fancy dancy GPS.  which found us a “mexican” place that was really a gringo spin on mexican, and way too pricey to boot.  so we settled for the american style place next door.  best decision ever.  that plate of lasagna above came out so hot i couldn’t eat it for a good 10 minutes (because i’m a pansy), and it was de.li.shus.  and not just because i was hungry, either.  genuinely good.  i had it later for dinner and the next day for lunch.  (because i think that it weighed like…over a pound on its own? haha, absolutely ridiculous).  if you’re ever near kansas city off highway 70 and you notice Russell’s Family Diner (i think that’s what it was called), i highly recommend.

but back to cabela’s! at this point in our lives and during the trip we were receiving phone calls from Stinky’s twin brother on the regular.  ‘on the regular’ for 13 year old stinky faces means twice a day.  trust me- that’s committment.  he wanted to know if we got it yet.  did we get it yet? no? “oops wrong number!”  and he’d hang up.  on his brother.  who was still thousands of miles away from home.  …none of this ‘how are you’ business for these stinkies, nope.  all business.

have i mentioned how lucky they are to have me as their sister?  i don’t think they fully understand yet.  one day.  …errr, maybe i’m being a little too hopeful on that.

well we considered this.  but doesn’t it just say ‘lame’ to you?  no?  that’s ok; disagreement is the stuff of life.

ooooh, a daisy.  now i can’t lie- i wanted (ahem, i mean They wanted) THIS one.  it’s so preettty.  by the way did i mention my mother was anti this whole play gun business?   you need to know- she does not approve.  i do not blame her.  but i’m their cool sister, not their mom.  if they were my kids, i’d take them to a real shooting range and forbid any such pretend business.  but here’s the daisy, annnd, nope.  out of the price range.  and far too intense for our puny northern virginian suburb we call home.  if neighbors caught sight of two little brown muslim boys toting around this daisy, um.  yeah.  also, too much ammo power- we’re not actually using this for anything, folks.

so we settled for something in between.  and i refused to let him play with it til we got home.  welllll, just a little.  wait, no! put that thing away, Stinky – - it looks like a real gun and the people that just passed us on the highway just did a double take!!!  hahah, heheh, ha…hm.  yeah, no tinkering til home.

and when we did get home, yall?  he promptly accidentally shot his brother in the face.  and then his brother jammed it.  and then they took the whole thing apart.  and forgot how to put it back together.  but finally succeeded a few days later.  it’s what silly 13 year old boys do.

aren’t they cute? no? because they just jacked up an airsoft i just got them 2 days ago after playing with it for just 2 hours? no? didn’t think so.  they better have fixed it, or i was gonna have a fit.  and fix they did.  but Twin Stinky still has that scar.  i bet that reflects poorly on me as their older and supposedly wiser sister, but i don’t see the problem.  well i do- it’s on his chin.  but…oh, let me not try to justify my actions.  stuff happens.

another thing- i love my mommy.  yes i do.  the other day, and honest to God i can’t remember what upset her, but she was upset at me.  oh wait now i remember, but it’s not important what.  she was upset.  :(  but she threatened me in the ONLY way she could think to, and you guys, it was so cute.  she had her elbows out, arms on her hips, and said “i’m not going to give you your mail.”  and i laaauuuughhhed, which is terrible, but i couldn’t help it.  and she was still so upset, but she laughed a little too, and continued “i’ll give you only the important ones, but all the others- i throw away.” and i told her i loved  her, and she was still upset, but smiling.  hahahaha, aww, momma!  we do silly things like go on road trips and buy toy guns, but we love you.

the end.

may 20.  we spent the previous day languishing in the deserts of california and nevada, finally making it to utah, where many gas stations carry mormon literature.  it’s true.  and we stayed in beaver, utah, at a friendly and ridiculously nice smelling KOA there.  and i did a lot of laundry.  and found cabela’s catalogs for Stinky to flip through in his search for an air soft gun.  oh, did i not mention that?  the primary reason Stinky agreed to fly out to california to drive with his crazy sister across the country was to buy an air soft gun.  you must think i’m exaggerating, and i wish i were!  but it was constant, from may 18 onwards- “can we stop at that sports outfitter store?? it looks like it might have air softs.”  and my answer was always “not ’til we hit a cabela’s.”  and we did in colorado, but Stinky was asleep and none the wiser, plus i noticed it too late and dammit i am NOT turning this car around and wasting precious minutes during my journey because there will be another cabela’s.  we’ll talk more about that later.  but back to may 20th:

i felt bad for Stinky from the 18th-19th, because i thought i could swing by yosemite and give the co-pilot some place to romp around in, but sadly, i hit the wrong entrance.  the entrance that’s still heavily snowy in mid-May.  but driving in the mountains was pretty?  pretty and terrifying at times, because you lose count of the number of “runaway truck ramps” and start to wonder if they make such ramps for little corollas.

but on the 20th, after we pitched our tent in the red red sand of moab, utah, i finally felt like the little bro was having fun.

we met an older woman who was also traveling solo.  from california.  she was a talkative lady, yes she was.  and loved the fact that i was driving on my own, just like her.  (i told her i had done the first half of my trip w/o anyone).  she told me about the 16 year old girl who recently set sail around the world.  and that she was “following” the girl (i think she meant by blog?).  so folks- i know that since then, the girl was flown out of the waters somewhere near australia.  sad i guess.  but hey, everything’s for a reason.  i bet this nice older woman would be sad, though, to hear it.  and wherever she is, i hope she’s safe.  and that maybe she’s reading this!  bc i definitely gave her my blog address.  it’s what you do on road trips like this.  but we had to be on our way, because it was getting to be late afternoon (note: in the desert, avoid doing things in midday heat), and we wanted to see some of the park, because we had to leave in the morning.  so off we drove.  annnd,

i mean, i’m boring.  i can have fun just by taking in some sights like that.  just kinda chill, have a seat, and a look see.

see that? amazing.

add to that the fact that i’m easily amused.  and that was good.  but there was a 13 year old on this trip, too!  you can’t just take a few pictures, write your name on them, and expect all to be right with the world.  silly goose.

no, you’ve gotta fling rocks at other rocks.  he actually did this for about an hour.  and i have a few minutes of video of him doing that.  sadly, i sound like an idiot and refuse to put that video up.  i sound like an idiot here too, but i’m willing to allow it.  i like the following video because it gives you an idea of the scope of one of these arches.  huge!  this was when we first got to the base of one.  we saw another nearby, but it was momentarily being swarmed by a busload of asian tourists.  so Obviously, we had to move on.  so move on we did.  and then i sat down.  i have this tendency.  of sitting.  i like sitting.  it works.  it also makes for a relatively steady hand when videotaping.

we stayed at the park til nearly dark.  i wanted to stay longer, but sadly, this was when i had only one functioning headlight, and i was paranoid about things like cops and tickets.  oh and safety.  so we walked down a little stretch of town for fun, where i reaffirmed that moab, utah, is a solid hippy town.  with cowboy leanings.

thankfully, i’m happy with my own boots and don’t need overpriced “vintage” ones to be a happy camper.  i like my boots.  and i made great use of them during my trip.  honestly pretty practical, esp. because i have pansy feet that end up with far too many bug bites, so having boots = no bites.  i wore them out; i think they need to be re-heeled.

hat.  that is one step i have not taken, and probably won’t unless i become a bona fide farmer or something.  besides, i wouldn’t know how to pull of a hijab with a Hat.  without looking like a tool.  tool being a relative term.

besides, this store was way overpriced, and

oooh.  this was tough to put down.  i picked it up, walked around with it.  bit my lip.  then shook myself out of it, told myself i was on a budget, and put the book back down.

besides, i had all of colorado and kansas up next on the roster!  cowboy country is not limited to a borderline hippy town in utah.  nor is it limited to the west.  i would take the tangent to tell you about my recent dealings with cowboys and girls in virginia, but it’s getting late and i need to end this post.  there are far too many pictures and now you’re spoiled.

fine fine- more road trip.

but first.  ray lamontagne

could sing the ABCs and i’d pay rapt attention.  i can’t explain my affinity for his music except to say i can’t help it.  it just is.

and that’s not relevant to this post, but i just heard his new song

and…bam.  a post about ray lamontagne.  a song i can’t say even remotely mirrors my own life experiences, but which intrigues me and draws me in, like 99% of all of his songs.  there’s one i don’t like, but he doesn’t either, so whatevs.

ANYWAY.  road trip.  with pictures!  because you, when you’re on a blog, really just want those.  you little stinker.

we spent 2 nights and a full day in columbia, missouri.  it was muggy.  and HOT.  and full of hippies.  why did i spend so much time there again?  humidity sucks, 90+ degree weather isn’t easy on a hijabi, and i hate hippies.  lucky for my friend farah, it was because of her!  a crueler me would’ve said her air conditioned house.  but it was actually the food. i mean, the air conditioning.  I MEAN, it was to hang out with her.  while there we visited the oldest tree in missouri:

cheese away, Stinky.  I re-nicknamed him Stinky.  because Squishy was getting embarassing in public.  give it 2 more weeks into this budding teenager’s life and i’ll probably have to start calling him by his actual name. *sigh* theeere she is.  the road here is flat.  so flat you could take off into the fields surrounding, no biggie.  judging by some of those tracks, that’s exactly what happens on occasion.  wanna know what else happens?         <-hm, that sounds like more connotation than i actually meant.

that’s the shell of a .45, babies.  at least, i think it is.  it says “45″ on it.  so i’m right, right?  look i’ve never used a hand gun.  just shotguns.  ..and a rifle once.  we found quite a few of these shells, so naturally, kept them.  there were broken bottles around, too.  obviously, being the oldest tree in missouri, people go there to shoot at stuff and drink.  i mean Obviously.  remember that i said columbia’s a hippy town?  well it is.  but there are rednecks real close by.  on the way to my dear friend’s house, i nearly ran over a guy on an ATV.  well, actually, his dog.  why?  ’cause his damn dog was running out ahead of his dang ATV, because his danged kid was following too close behind on his own little ATV.  on a 55mph road.  SMRT.  also, i like ATVs.  i’m probably just jealous.

oh, gosh.  hey farah?  don’t kill me.  explanation: farah and her missourian friends are stupid nerdy.  but nerds don’t play drinking games, hh!  wellll, they do with pepsi.  i happened to be at her house during her Lost party.  she knows i don’t like Lost, but, well, i’m just a good friend.  so they had their little crazed groupie party.  i’m sure they’re nice folks otherwise.  seriously though- great folks.  just…Lost crazy.  it’s ok.  i judge you, but i also forgive you.  i like ke$ha, so you really shouldn’t care what i think.

note to self: things put on the internet can’t be taken back.  i like ke$ha.  my future self will read this and want to hurl.  i’m so sorry for your pain, future self.  i am young and stupid?

next post, God willing, to involve video.  might be published sooner than even i anticipate.  hold onto your butts.

lllooovverrr, lover loverrr

sorry.  that’s just jerrod niemann’s infectious song that’s taking over country music stations across the nation.  heard it probably a billion (5) times during my road trip.  oh!  the things i listened to for 8-10 hours a day with my eyes on the pavement:

1. NPR.  there was a lot of NPR.  and when it didn’t exist, i listened to whatever right wing conservative talk radio host that was popular in that region.  and a lotta christian radio.  hallelujah hollaback.  so i’m lumping all that stuff together.

2. music.  yeah, i thought that i’d play it off my laptop because that’s what i normally do on road trips- i can make a big fat playlist (gigs that don’t fit on my 2 gig cell phone memory chip) and let it roll, but surprisingly, i did not do this.  didn’t find it necessary.  so i would alternate between plain old radio and my cell phone’s memory chip.  not too heavy on the cell phone though, as i wanted to maintain battery for “omg” situations.  so a loooot of country music, which i don’t mind at all and love quite a lot (lover loverrr), and the occasional quirky alt rock when i passed through more metro areas or college towns.  which was rare.  and then horrible pop music like my bff Ke$ha.

3. qur’an.  i downloaded the whole thing to my laptop shortly before leaving and would play it for a couple hours on end periodically.  it was nice to have with me.  because while i brought along my mini paper qur’an, i certainly didn’t get much time to read.  i suppose i could’ve tried while driving, but i think that would have been silly.

4. silence.  that was necessary at times.  sometimes just a few minutes.  sometimes hours.

this is a wal mart parking lot somewhere in colorado.  oh, that?  that’s my husband.  y’all- tell me to my face that’s not an awesome truck.  just, well just look!  it’s bright freaking yellow.  and i’m no expert but that looks like an original paint job to me.  and if it’s not, it is in my head.  because i want to believe it.

that is in crawfordsville, indiana.  where’s that?  darned if i know, but it was good to me.  the weather was nice, the people were too, and the KOA was sufficiently deserted, with people off in the distance in case i needed to start shouting and running from something like a bug.  i don’t know.  it was my first night alone.  and i was under the impression that i was scared of the dark.  til i realized the kampground is full of lights from the main building, RVs, and other stuff.  but this picture was twilight, and i was cooking dinner, and being a quiet fool- dropping things and getting something from the car every 30 seconds that i forgot the first (and second and tenth) time.  don’t feel like i was being hardcore- i had an electrical and water hookup about 10 feet away from the left of that tent.  there weren’t even bugs besides gnats to bother me.  it was cushy camping.

this is misleading.  because it’s not in indiana.  but it is inside the tent.  which was for the vast majority of the time, very cozy.  i like my $100 two person (scoff) REI tent.  some would say that’s too much to pay.  some are my sisters and brothers.  some’s faces can shut it.  but yeah.  i don’t go light on the comfort…ers.  and do you see that?  it’s magical internet.  in my tent.  the internet at KOAs ranges anywhere from barely there to full on bandwidth for all (aka, it’s a small grounds with only a couple people using it).  i’m sure in summer the internet’s much more difficult to catch.  thank goodness i was traveling in the off season.  because i need me my internet.  srsly.  i know i know- addiction.  but i was moving around so much for 2 weeks that i just really wanted that feeling that i was still somehow connected.  and internet is the answer.

but it’s ok to be disconnected sometimes.  especially when you get to see amazing, awe inspiring things.  things that make your heart beat faster, and your jaw hang for extended periods of time.

at least, that’s what happened to me.  this is south dakota.  and this is where i learned the meaning of ‘big sky.’  i’ve heard that phrase in reference to the west before, but it didn’t click til i saw those clouds.  and that horizon.  i can’t explain it but to say the horizon IS bigger.  it’s huge.  it’s fantastic.  it’s endless and you’re surrounded by sky.  i know this picture doesn’t do the feeling justice, but those clouds?  those clouds are free.  this sky is freedom.  i hope i’m not making this sound exaggerated; i’m serious about this big sky business.  even if it’s just through a windshield.  see, i’ve got a crappy camera, and no skillz, so i gotta give you whatever snapshot i can.  and if it’s not that good, well, you’ll just have to check it out for yourself one day.

and, sigh, i’m gonna say it.  and i mean it.  right about the time i took that picture is when i realized that america is beautiful.  funny thing is, i already knew virginia was beautiful.  still know it.  but though i’ve heard and read descriptions of the rest of the country before, it’s just something i had to see for myself.  i think that’s the primary reason i wanted to do this.  just to see.  and see i did.

you mean…no one cares?

about how many mpg i got?  or my average cost per gallon?  harsh.

there it is, in all it’s glory.  a google map.  which i’m sure means nothing, but probably satisfies your need to revert to childhood via blog by looking at pictures.  aside: picture books were the bees knees, and i want them back.  oh yeah the map- please note the dark blue between minnesota and south dakota.  that’s when i left my wallet in that wal mart, realized it in south dakota, called that wal mart (had a receipt) and they said nothin in their lost and found, freaked out, called again and begged them to check the bathroom sink on the left side (um, yeah, i remember things *after* the fact), said they found it, i cried tears of joy and kicked myself and prayed for forgiveness from my inexorable stupidity.  no seriously, i cried.  over the phone.  and when i got to the wal mart 2 hours later, i hugged a nice lady by the name of Espe.  i’m sending her a thank you card.  also addressed to “woman who works in subway” because that’s who actually found it.  and then i drove another 2 hours just to get to where i started when i remembered.  and arrived in rapid city, south dakota far too late.

and then?  then, babies, i broke the key that would have opened the door to my cabin that night.  so i had to wake up (11pm, people) yet another nice lady, who came equipped with pliers.  she had every right to like, key my car, but didn’t.  just opened the door.  and i said thank you.  but i didn’t cry this time.

and that’s about the time during the road trip i decided to stop being a screw-up, and generally, things went a bit better.

ok look, i realized about yesterday that chronicling this road trip is gonna take several posts.  there are too many pictures and too many little asides and stories for it to all fit in one post.  so please bear with me.  i promise i don’t plan on ever publishing a book on this because that would be stupid and crazy and 99% of bloggers have no business doing such things.  but my blog entries might be tedious and long, like a required reading book, but suck it up because you’re reading it anyway!

the end.

la gasolina & gary coleman

apologies.  really.  i wanted to post.  ready for the excuses?  1. i had work the day after i got back.  2. interestingly enough, i was car lagged and wanted to sleep for a week straight.  3. work attacked me.  4. my dog ate my blog.

#4′s the keeper.  but here we are.  and here i am.  and i’m trying to calculate all my trip expenses.  care to know how many times i got gas?  21.  not each of those was to fill ‘er up completely though.  for example, in nowhere desert nevada (literally; the gas station was called ’3 deserts’) i got paranoid and decided not to let the tank get below halfway full.  i have a picture of a sign that says “no gas for 111 miles” and i’m not kidding.  that was around area 51.  so i guess atliens don’t like gasoline.  hmmm.

anyway!  21 times.  so let’s say 19 fill ups.  so let’s say at 19 fill ups and 12 gallons in my tank (i think that’s about right, a slight overestimate) equals 228 gallons of black gold and 6,846 miles (i got the picture to prove that) equals an average of almost exactly 30 miles per gallon.  heeelllllsss yeah, 2004 corolla!!  not too shabby considering we had some serious elevation in all those westernesse mountains, i blasted the AC in the hot and humid south, and i’m an over-packer by nature.  i spent $544.82 on gas in total, which came in 200 under what i thought it would cost.  yeehaw, babies!  that also means an average of $2.39 per gallon, which for an east coaster ain’t bad.  ok if my math is wrong on any of this, i don’t care, ok?  ok.  but seriously, the middle of nowhere america has cheap gas like whoa and you should absolutely try it some time.  not the middle of nowhere north though- i noticed that.  middle of nowhere everywhere else, and most especially kansas, yesss.  and a little birdy told me gas prices are actually gonna stay kinda low this summer.  say what now!?

from gas to short people, onwards!  my segways are awesome.   but i think you need to know something.  occasionally during the second half of the trip, when i was with my brother, i would say “whatchu talkin bout, willis?!” very quietly so he couldn’t quite make out what i was saying.  honestly?  it was random; i had no reason for doing it.  i just wanted to mess with him and convince him he was hearing things.  i don’t even know the history of the saying.  i know i know- pop culture fail.  but on returning i’ve recently heard that gary coleman passed away.  so my insanity = early memorial?  i don’t know.  it’s just mild and not so interesting coincidence, making it perfect for a stupid blog post.

anyway, more posts with pictures to come.  pictures require uploading.  and sorting.  and dating.  and stuff like that.  and i have to fold laundry right now.  so brb.

*&%@&(! …. !!! …. !!! :(

*&%@&(! …. !!! …. !!! :(

poor birdy.  i think it looked like an owl.  ashraf said it wasn’t but that he couldn’t tell what it was.  it was not small.  it was large.  big bird.  that slammed into my left headlight almost as soon as we entered kansas.  biiig bird.  i was too scared to look at the damage.  it made a Very loud noise.  but eventually, i had to get gas.

and looked.

and there were entrails.  also known as guts.

hanging.

from.

my popped out (but intact) headlight.

i hopped around, screamed a little, gagged, and realized that that meaty smell i had been smelling while driving those last few miles was NOT in fact a figment of my imagination.

i was smelling the dead meat on my headlight.

so we booked it to the closest car wash.  it was a self car wash.  and it took $4 of power spraying to get those guts off.

…

do you want to know the irony?  remember how at the ‘yota dealership i was told that my left low beam bulb had gone out and that i was driving with one headlight?  well, i realize now that it probably got bumped out of connection when i hit that rock.  because now, after hitting that big bird, it works again.  oh, dear.  a freaking animal had to sacrifice its life just so i wouldn’t have to pay the $71 to get my bulb replaced.

oh and don’t you worry your pretty little head.  i have pictoral proof, to be posted asap.  yeah, A.S.A.P.

ASAP apparently means like, a week later.  but here it is in all it’s glory, and no, i aint linkin it, so brace yourselves:

keepin’ on truckin’

whoa nelly, it’s been a while.  please pardon the shortened words, the cliche colloqualisms, and more.  a cute little geezer in idaho did not say hello to me.  he said “hi-oh!”  and i will probably remember that for a very long time.  by the way, idaho is so gosh darned CUTE!  i don’t know how else to explain it.  my drive out of yellowstone, which took me through idaho, was just precious.  and here’s what i’ve been up to these past couple (few?) days:

that, my friends, is….frustration.  shall i explain?  well, it wasn’t all frustration.  in fact, most if it wasn’t.  but i’m still reeling a bit from the uh- circular- nature of that there route.  do you see what i see?  no of course not.  there was some uncertainty in whether i’d be bringing along one of my brothers for the ride back.  but voila!  he was set to arrive in LA on the morning of the 18th.  so i was on a mission to pick him up.  think of it as…at big fat taxi trip.  cedar city, utah the night of the 16th (salt lake? what salt lake?).  pomona, ca the night of the 17th.  this was actually kinda neat because i tent camped next to a couple hell’s angels, and they were headed to DC.  maybe i’ll see them when i get back?  probably not.  still nice folks.  and then the morning of the 18th: FRUSTRATION.  i mean, i KNOW los angeles rush hour traffic is legendary.  i KNOW this.  but i was on my way to pick up my 13 year old brother and well, it was just bad.  2.5 hours bad.  my usual commute can be 2 hours.  but that extra half hour, plus having camped the night before, plus it being LOS ANGELES FREAKING TRAFFIC just nearly broke me.  before i rant more, let’s dwell on a piece of niceness.

pomona, ca is full of flowers.  i love flowers.  seemed like everything was blooming.  the KOA was just brimming with flowers!  did i say flowers enough?  here are some to show you:

isn’t they are pretty?  (i told you, i was losing my mind).

i picked up the squishy (my brother) from LAX.  and in my hurried stressed mind, totally forgot to take a picture of him cheesing as he walked up to me.  cheesing because YES the plane had video games and movies.  which was his main concern before coming.  so he played video games and watched ‘the blind side’ for 5 hours straight.  me and squishy headed straight for malibu.  squishy doesn’t like pictures.  but that’s too bad.

…what?  i wanted to drive on the pacific coast highway.  you didn’t think i was going to drive All the way to the west  coast and NOT drive on the pch…did you?!  you’re a crazy head.  and that’s crazy talk.

anyway.  there we were, just driving along, admiring the lush green hills of socal, on our way to th-

-th-the- what the HECK is that??!  it’s my corolla’s oil pan.  note: it should not be dented like. that.  turns out those signs by the side of steep mountains that say “falling rocks” don’t lie.  it didn’t fall while i was driving.  but a big-a** rock had indeed fallen.  in the middle of a dark tunnel.  on a 2 lane road.  and i couldn’t swerve around it.  and i couldn’t stop fast enough, esp. with a huge truck tailing me (PSA: do not tail other cars).  so i went over that big-a** rock.  and i have the dent on my oil pan and tail pipe to prove it.  luckily, nothing was damaged too seriously.  just bruised up.  like my ego.

but it didn’t stop us.  before getting that checked out and my oil changed (yeah, before, don’t judge me), we had a fantastic seafood lunch at the cleverly named ‘malibu seafood.’  are you still judging me?  look.  i pulled over immediately, checked for leaks, and looked as best i could under my low-clearance ve-hick-al.  drove for 10 miles on the highway, ooh-d and aah-d, and did it again.  and then called AAA and vented a bit and settled on going to a nearby toyota dealership.  and then convinced the mechanic to let me go into the shop and get googly eyed over the dents in my car.  and take pictures.  and then pay for the oil change and say i’d go without replacing the left low beam headlight for now.  oh, did i not mention that?  it fused.  but that’s ok because i didn’t plan on doing any night driving, and if i had to, might be able to slide by with using just the high beams.

sigh.  there was night driving.  because…there just always is when you don’t want there to be.  and i’m gonna cut this endless post short because i could just go on forever.  none of us wants that.   but real quick:

- headed to yosemite.  the desert is boring.  got to wrong entrance.  oops.  right entrance = 8 hours away.  oops.

- spent a whole freaking day driving through nothing nevada.  no.thing.ne.va.da.  took 3 wrong turns.  passed by area 51.  don’t get excited- there was no.thing.  bought some gold in goldfield from an adequately nostalgic, gold-rush personality, mildly creepy but ultimately kind, old man.  this trip involves a lot of old men, doesn’t it?!  anyway:

- we’re headed to arches national park today.

- i only have 4 hours of driving today

- hallelujah, praise the good Lord above.

-hh